Rise & Shine
Greetings friends! March has arrived. Blessed Be.
We are moving from the Winter’s time of rest into Spring. To me, this season is the dreaming time. The place where the seeds of opportunity are sown and begin to bloom. Seasonal cycles mirror those of our own days.. The night time (Winter) is the dark time, the time of rest. While many people dream during this time, the dreaming time (Spring) - at least for me - occurs just before dawn. My first round of sleep cycles out around 4 a.m., when the dark is still hovering. At the first wake, I usually notice the ache in my bones and, if I am not careful, my mind bolts into action and abruptly moves into thoughts of the day, worries, concerns, checklists. Most nights, however, I try not to wiggle too much or get up for a drink of water or a pen and paper. I allow myself to ease back into slumber, knowing there are a few precious hours before I HAVE to get up. It is during this time that I tend to have the most vivid and psychic dreams.
I am a dreamer. For most of my life, I did not know how to show up authentically as a seer. No one ever showed me that the things I experienced were gifts of sight, and I certainly never was instructed on how to access -or control-them. I spent the better part of my life trying to numb myself from the constant barrage of images, feelings, sensations and very chatty folks on the other side of the veil. At night, I would sleep deeply. All the tactics and shields I built up during the day would relax and visions would come flooding in through dreams. This is how I first learned that I had premonitive dreams. I would dream something and it would happen. Neat! I thought. That’s something.
All these dreams would swirl around and flash images, cinematic scenes or sometimes just feelings. It was pretty fun until one time, I was visited by my grandmother. I was 17 years old and had a tiny studio apartment. I slept on a futon mattress on the floor, right next to the door. This particular dream was the kind where you can’t tell whether you are awake or asleep. There was a knock on the door and I got up to answer it. My grandmother, who lived several states away and had never been to the apartment, was standing on the other side when I opened the door. She was crying. No words, just crying. I knew she was saying good-bye. I was devastated. The next day I worked up the courage to tell my mom my dream, but she spoke first. Grandma had been diagnosed with cancer. It advanced quickly and her life ended very shortly after that. In that moment, something changed. I decided that- no matter what- I did NOT want my dreams to come true.
Let that sink in.
Imagine holding the intention for almost 40 years: “Please don’t let my dreams come true.”
Dreams come in all shapes and sizes. There are the ones that come in the sleeping hours. Others meander in wistfully like a veil of mist. The mind wanders and the silhouettes of memories or unspoken hopes attempt to take form. Then there are the dreams of the heart. The dreams that speak to your calling, the ones that come from a place so deep even speaking them aloud is a vulnerability. In my life, I have often struggled with dreams coming true. When I got accepted and a full scholarship to Berkeley (after being a high school drop out with a GPA of .53) I suffered horribly from imposter syndrome. Years later, when my husband gave me the ultimatum that it was time to have children-or else, I wept for hours in my car in front of the house. When Of Wand & Earth was built and the teahouse was finally completed in 2022, I walked around numbly for weeks. When I visited Egypt for the first time that year, same thing. I could barely speak on the trip. I was so overcome with the hugeness of my biggest dream coming true. This winter, during the dark time of rest, I knew there is one more dream that I could not ignore. A big one. The book.
I am unwilling to share how many decades I have been working on “the book”, but it’s fair to say I don’t remember a time when it was not a dream. It is not even one book, rather, dozens of half completed, unfinished thoughts, notebooks, recordings, storylines. All dead end streets shadowed by the words, “please don't let my dreams come true.”
No longer can I hide behind that old intention. I spent the past four days in an intensive Boot Camp with Hay House to help authors learn the ins and outs and what it takes to get published. And they offer attendees the opportunity to submit a proposal and win a book deal. Boy howdy, was it overwhelming. I wanted to retreat back under the cover. They drilled us to talk about what our story was, nab the “hook”, get the fan base, do the things! I couldn’t even land on which of the dozen of books I was going to write. Everything was swirling, and while inspiring, I felt disconnected from the possibility that this would be something I could put together. Let alone in the time frame to take advantage of the contest.
During the bootcamp a special guest was invited in. It was Kyle Grey, a Hay House bestselling author and oracle deck creator who writes about angels and their messages. His presentation started out super interesting and inspiring. I am sure it probably continued that way, but, unfortunately, shortly into his fascinating tale, I fell asleep. A deep sleep. I woke up just as he was saying “thank you for letting me share my story”. I was bummed. I missed it. And then…
Within ten minutes, I had it (thank you angels and Kyle). I had the title, I had the hook. I went onto Canva and mocked up a pretend book cover to place on my vision board. I sat at the computer and belted out the entire outline. I organized the first 13 chapters in 10 minutes. most of it already written in some form or another. I secured a website, and started a substack account to post my writing. And it all suddenly became real. Suddenly, I gave myself a gift I had never given myself, ever. Not with the babies, not with Egypt. Never, before yesterday, did I say the words: “Please let my dream come true.”
And so it is, and so it shall be. Perhaps you, too, have a dream. Maybe it’s secret or maybe it’s one you’ve shared. But regardless, I invite you to enter the spring with renewed interest, love and magic. The dreaming time is here, the dawn is near. It’s time. It’s time to rise and shine.
